Ten questions to ask if you're writing a scrutiny report #7: how do we build paragraphs?

What is a paragraph?  It’s a collection of sentences, all relating to one idea.  Get the paragraphs right and all sorts of other writing problems will begin to fade away.

For example, take a look at this paragraph.

    The Board also considered improvements in the performance of the City’s Libraries, identifying immediate     concerns relating to the suitability of the premises used for the Archives Service and future considerations such     as the condition of the Central Library and potential changes to procurement processes.

One-sentence paragraphs are generally not very helpful – especially when the sentence is 44 words long. 

Interestingly, the key to improving this paragraph is in the text itself.  The paragraph’s main idea is at the start.  All we need to do is separate it into its own sentence.  This is called a topic sentence.

The board also considered improvements in the performance of the city’s libraries.  We identified immediate concerns relating to the suitability of the premises used for the Archives Service.  We also considered more long-term concerns, such as the condition of the Central Library and potential changes to procurement processes.

 

As well as creating a topic sentence, the rewrite also improves the coherence of the paragraph.  The board were looking at two sets of concerns: some immediate and long-term.  By placing those two sets of concerns in two separate sentences, the paragraph becomes more coherent.

(I've also removed the capital letter from the word 'board'.  Unlike 'Central Library' or 'Archives Service', the word 'board' is not the name of the board and so should be lower case.)

A paragraph, then, should be about a single topic. 

■    The best place to deliver the topic is at the start of the paragraph, in a topic sentence. 

■    The other sentences in the paragraph should develop the topic coherently.

We can make our paragraphs more coherent in two ways.

First, we can create patterns of meaning within the paragraph, by echoing, repeating or distinguishing words across sentences.  In the example above, the word ‘concerns’ is repeated, to link the two supporting sentences; the words ‘immediate’ and ‘long-term’ clearly distinguish between the two sets of concerns.

Secondly, we can use transitional devices to indicate the connections between sentences.  Transitional devices are words and phrases that indicate how one sentence relates to the sentence before it. (With thanks to the OWL at Purdue.)

Here is a short paragraph in which the transitional devices (marked in italics) show how the sentences link to each other.

The absence of changing facilities on playing fields can also be a problem.  For example, Richmond Park has three full size grass rugby pitches but there are no facilities for changing or showering on site.  As a result, the pitches are well used on the weekends but little used during the week.

 

Hot tip

Use topic sentences to organize the sequences of paragraphs.

Underline the first sentence of each paragraph in a section.  Read the underlined sentences in order. They should be a summary of the section.  If they make sense when read in order, your paragraphs are probably well ordered.

In the next posting, I'll ask:how do we bring our sentences under control?

If you like what you see here, you might like to contact me to discuss working with you.  I am currently working with one of the scrutiny team of a major local assembly in the UK.  I run training courses, and coach individual writers.  I can even give you some feedback on the reports your team is producing, if you want nothing more.  Go to my website to take a look at a sample training programme.